I have experienced many changes over the years. At times wishing, hoping for some sort of stability. To be normal, to have a stable life often was and is one of my goals. In the past six years, things in my life have really taken a turn. I was living in one reality, then through Yoga, reality began to shift. I came to know that life is what I make of it. There is so much possibility for a human being. Love conquers all, indeed.

In the past 11 months, I have experienced an awakening that does not seem real to me. I often question the changes in my thinking and often go back to old habits to compare the quality of my life before and after. The center of which I was living when this began was very supportive of the obvious changes I was going through. I was encouraged to accept it and go with it. I took a step back beacause their lives seemed less than optimal. Jealousy, hate and fear reigned supreme at a level no one would admit existed. I refused to play their game of seclusion and gave my love to all without being selective about it. Once I started doing that, the world opened up. I started doing it at stores, gas stations, parking lots and wherever I could experiment with it. Some people would just light up when I looked at them. Other days, I felt not so great, I could notice the difference in atitudes and general sense of well being in others. It was much different versus the other state of being I had experienced. Through this awakening I now know the most important things that will allow me the greatest growth for this life time.

I withdrew from people at a young age. I took care of myself and neglected others for the sole reason of protecting myself. Self-preservation was the dominant factor in my life. It was necessary then and is so now; to a lesser degree. I have seen the hurt I cause when I don't let people in and when I don't include them. I have been a loner for my entire life. Even when I was married. To hurt people devastates my soul. I cannot take the suffering I feel when I don't show love for whomever is on my path on any given day. This is the nature of my love. I cannot hold it to one person. It is for all. I am considered very attractive by many. I am a woman. I am, in the material world, a transsexual. This would explain the fourth sentence of this paragraph. Help me know you. I will be searching.  I love you.